GrexorArt - Blog

July, 27, 2023

Sign Language - the Language of Feelings

Hiding true feelings

"Hi, how are you?" - how often do we hear that question. And how natural it is for us to answer - "Hi, I'm good, and you?" Although the truth might be the complete opposite. We don't want to show how we really are. It's common to answer this way, and completely justified. The 'how are you?' questions can often be translated into simply 'hi', and because of that no one likes to be suddenly burdened by someone else's problems. It's not the same, though, for a certain group of people who are our fellow citizens that live among us, but have their own world. The deaf community has almost its own culture and a bit of a different approach and attitude. Let me explain what I mean by that.

One day a deaf friend of mine asked me how I was doing. At that time, deep inside, I felt down, and I was trying to hide my true state. We all can acquire that skill after some time of practice, the skill of putting on different masks. So once I pulled all the muscles of my face into a positive mode, I answered in sign language that I was fine, asking in return if she was well. Then she looked at me and her facial expression openly showed that she knew I wasn't entirely being honest with her. There was no hesitation in her approach. She was more than sure of my dishonesty and she left no room for me to deceive her any further. I had no choice but to openly express my true feelings. I didn't necessarily tell her all the details of my misery, but at least her insight motivated me to admit that I wasn't fine that day.

WORDS - PERFECT CAMOUFLAGE

The above scenario nicely shows the way our deaf friends communicate. So if you want to learn to communicate with deaf people you have to first of all, learn to be honest with yourself and also with others.

We, hearing people, have developed a skill of focusing more on the words we speak and hear than on the feelings that are projected by our faces and body language. Well, a skill, or a flaw, that is the question. Words are everywhere, they describe our feelings and emotions. And thanks to them we can better understand ourselves. But I dare to compare the words that describe our feelings and emotions to a crutch that helps us to walk. That type of a crutch can help us to walk through the journey of understanding ourselves, but we'll never be able to flawlessly get to the point of recognising and comprehending our true feelings and emotions.

Sign language - a path to reveal your true self

Interestingly, Lisa Feldman Barrett, a psychologist and neuroscientist who has studied emotions for over 30 years, said in one of her talks that emotions are guesses that our brain constructs in the moment where billions of brain cells are working together. In order to understand human emotions better and the way they work, she analysed not the words but something else. In her lab she probed human faces, bodies and their physiology by measuring electrical signals. So, what you see is more powerful than what you hear, in terms of understanding feelings and emotions. Therefore, sign language is the language that leads to better recognition of feelings and emotions - yours and others.

Sign language is a visual language. It's impossible to fully substitute every spoken or written word into a handshape or, if you like, a manual sign. Why is it so? Because this beautiful language also consists of non manual features and multi-channel signs. What are these?

Non manual features (MNFs) - are actions produced by any part of the body other than your hands. They include actions of the eyes, mouth, cheeks, face, head, shoulders and torso, like eyebrows raised and open mouth to indicate a questioning attitude. It doesn't require voiceless mouthing words, because NMFs are not referring to a particular word, but rather to a certain feeling or an emotional state. It's a clear way to present what you feel.

Multi-channel signs - they help to present typical English expressions using your handshapes (manual signs) along with NMFs. In this case it's crucial to express your attitude, feelings or emotions.

The challenges of learnig BSL

1. Patience and consistency

Learning a new language is not an easy task - I personally know about this because, in order to be able to write this article I had to learn more than the basics of English. So if you want to progress, be patient. Learn regularly and consistently - not necessarily a lot at a time. I am a big fan of consistency. Remember, please, that consistency is the mother of efficiency. The first challenge is patience and consistency.

2. The fear of being judged and criticised

How do you feel when you have to do something which you're not very good at, at least to start with? Your confidence level is not very high, is it? That's typical, and completely normal. And when it comes to using a foreign language it might be even frightening. You might be scared of what others will think about your newly learnt skills - unless you have some mental disorder and believe that everything you do is just perfect, but that's a different story. It can be even harder when it comes to a sign language where all eyes are on you :o. The fear of being judged and criticised is another challenge.

First, you may think about technicality, the way you shape your hands and how you present your signing. Then you might be concerned about how others perceive you. You may think that you look silly while doing a certain gesture or a facial expression. Well, as a matter of fact, sometimes you will look hilarious, but hey, that's the price of being a good signer! If you're not comfortable with this idea, maybe start learning Polish or Spanish - to be honest, even for me Polish is difficult, although I'm Polish myself, choose something else!

3. Being honest and truly yourself

The next challenge is that of truly expressing yourself. You have to truly be yourself, you have to loosen yourself up and be willing to express your true feelings and thoughts. Well, it doesn't mean you have to be rude, but in sign language or in the deaf community there's no room for unnecessary courtesy. Well, it works this way, if you put on weight you will get to know that quickly. In English there are many ways to tell someone indirectly that they've put on weight, in sign language it would be presented in a rather frank, direct way.

4. New language, new thinking.

There are two types of signing known in Great Britain. The first and main one is BSL, which stands for British Sign Language. The next one is SSE, Sign Supported English. SSE follows the spoken and reading English language and follows its structure - it translates English word by word. BSL, though, is completely different and has its own grammar and syntax. Therefore it requires rewiring your thinking into a new structure. It might be a challenge at first but it's also great exercise for your brain. Let's use the example of a simple question - What's your name? - in BSL it will look something like this - Your name what? If you want to start your journey with BSL, be prepared to think the other way round.

5. 'What do you mean?'

You mean what? Again, please. These are the questions you will use quite often, while trying to understand your deaf friends. The biggest challenge is to grasp what others are signing. You have to remember that in BSL there are different dialects and even accents. Accents? Yes. The accent in the case of BSL means the way a certain sign or BSL expression is being presented. Not everyone has the same handshape or movement of a particular sign. What is more discouraging, some signers love shortcuts. I think it's a mannerism that everybody develops with time. I know people who are well acquainted with signing but, sometimes, even they still struggle to understand others. It's natural and there's no point in worrying about that.

Sign to feel and be true

Without communication we humans would never have been able to achieve what we have achieved as humankind; but, on the other hand, what badness and harm we would have been able to avoid if we could have communicated properly. I believe that sign language is the most beautiful language ever, because it comes straight from your heart. It helps you to become more true. Thanks to this language you can become more aware of your own feelings and emotions, and you can recognise the feelings of others too. If you are thinking of learning sign language, don't wait. Thanks to this you'll start perceiving what you have never perceived before. Just stop talking and start feeling.

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